


The Spy Who Loved Me

by tinyarmedtrex



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: AU, Getting Together, I swear I started this before the title dropped, M/M, Sexual Tension, but i dont regret it, everyone is a spy, making out to escape enemies, non con slap, not between Adam and Ronan, physical assault, pining Ronan, spy AU, who is a bit dumb about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27622412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyarmedtrex/pseuds/tinyarmedtrex
Summary: “Did you think I couldn’t do it? Was that it? Think I’m not qualified or too green to get out on my own?”Ronan shook his head. Of course that was what Adam would think. That he’d stepped in because he didn’t think Adam was competent. Adam was the newest one of their troop and hated anyone implying that he couldn’t handle himself.“No.” He replied. “That wasn’t it at all.”“Then what?” Adam yelled.Or, Ronan nearly jeopardizes a mission because he can’t stand to see Adam touched by someone else.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 19
Kudos: 160





	The Spy Who Loved Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi folks I put this in the tags but there's a (very) brief assault with Adam and someone else. It's short but if that's not your jam you can skip down or skip the fic  
> Otherwise happy reading!

Ronan watched, burning with jealousy even while he reminded himself that he had no right to care. It was impossible. Adam was there, laughing quietly in the arms of the other man, leaning in and whispering in his ear. When the man pulled Adam even closer, his hand straying down and grabbing his ass Ronan nearly broke the glass he was holding. 

“Stop that!” Blue hissed in his ear. 

His eyes darted around, looking for her. But of course he couldn’t see her. She was somewhere in the party too, talking to him through their earpieces.

“Stop what?” He asked, keeping his voice low and trying not to look suspicious. They were supposed to blend in, not give anything away. Ronan thought he was doing well, he’d been by the bar all night and hadn’t once told anyone to fuck off. 

“Glaring at the mark. You look like you’re going to walk over there and put his head through a wall.”

“He’s a bad guy. He would deserve it.” Ronan retorted. 

He was. Whelk, their mark for this mission, was wrapped up in all sorts of shady business. That’s why they were here, to find out exactly what that business was and who else helped him with it. The plan was to get him alone and then make him talk. Ronan was fine with the second part. It was the first part that was giving him trouble. 

“That’s not why you’re glaring.” Blue continued. “It’s because of his hand on Adam’s ass.” 

He swallowed, praying that Adam had turned his ear piece off. He usually did because he only had one good ear and he always said he didn't want it full of their chatter. He relied on hand signals, something that Ronan had no problem with. Any excuse to watch Adam’s hands very carefully was fine with him. 

His feelings for Adam were well known to everyone on the team except Adam. Ronan knew he wasn’t very subtle but he couldn’t help it. Since Adam had started on the team six months ago Ronan had wanted him. It wasn’t just that he looked like he’d stepped out of a modeling ad from the 1940’s, it was the way he thought about things, turning them over in his head before ever offering an opinion, or how the corners of his mouth quirked up when Ronan told a joke. It was a million little things that added up to one big feeling. Ronan tried to push it down, to be professional, but in moments like this he couldn't. 

“He’s practically molesting him.” Ronan replied, glancing back over at the pair. Whelk’s hand had sunk even lower, now resting firmly on the curve of Adam’s ass. Adam gently tried to move it but Whelk didn’t take the hint, squeezing instead. Ronan had taken two steps closer to them before Blue hissed at him again.

“That is the mission! The one you said you would help with! You promised Gansey you’d be okay.” 

Ronan stopped moving. Gansey had come to him before all this started, asking if he wanted to sit it out. Ronan had refused. The only thing worse than watching Adam with Whelk would have been not watching him. 

“If you would just ask him out-” Blue added.

Ronan’s head whipped around, wishing he knew where she was. He wanted to glare at her. 

“Some of us don’t want to ruin the group.” He said, retreating back to his corner. He finished his drink in one gulp, wishing he’d fine serenity at the bottom. He didn’t. 

“Oh fuck you.” She replied without any real heat. “That’s not the reason. You would love to ruin the group. And Adam.”

“You know,” Drawled a new voice. “There are other people on the line who don’t want to hear about people getting ruined.”

“Shut up Cheng, you love this shit.” Ronan said as he turned to the bar, getting another drink while Henry laughed in his ear. When he turned back he found that Adam was staring at him. Their eyes locked and Adam’s hands moved subtly. 

_ Bedroom. Us. Now.  _

Ronan wished he could close his eyes against the message and ignore that Adam was going upstairs with the man but Ronan knew he couldn’t. He nodded then slipped out of the party and to his next position- the balcony of Whelks room. He’d tried to convince Gansey they didn’t need this part, that Adam could knock Whelk out as soon as they left the main room, but Gansey had wanted him out of earshot of anyone else. 

Before long Ronan heard voices and watched as the door opened, the two men pouring in, laughing. Adam was clinging to Whelk, pretending to be far more drunk than he really was. Ronan knew that he asked the bartenders to water down his drinks, something they were always more than happy to do. Still, it hurt to watch Adam laugh and bury his head in Whelk’s shoulder. Ronan had had dreams of Adam doing that with him. 

Ronan swallowed as red hot jealousy rose in him again. This wasn’t about him, it was about keeping Adam safe. 

“This is a nice room.” Adam drawled, his voice sweet as honey. “I think you might be a bit richer than you let on.”

“My- associates insisted.” Whelk replied, his dark eyes watching as Adam roamed, his fingertips grazing the furniture. 

“Associates?” Adam quirked up an eyebrow. “What exactly do you do?”

Whelk shook his head, walking over to Adam and running a hand through his hair. “It doesn’t matter. Come on, you’ve been teasing me all night.” Whelk yanked Adam’s head back, exposing his throat. Ronan heard the sharp gasp from Adam and his hand was instantly on his gun. He took one, two breaths, reminding himself not to jeopardize everything. Adam’s eyes fell to the balcony, where he knew Ronan was even if he couldn’t see him. He shook his head, telling Ronan that he still had this under control. 

Then Whelk threw Adam on the bed, crawling over him and using his belt to tie Adam up. Whelk watched as Adam struggled against the binding. “Not sure I like this.” Adam purred, still in character but Ronan could see him trying to think of ways to escape. 

“Oh but I do,” Whelk replied, undoing the buttons on Adam’s shirt and trailing a hand down his chest. “A lot.” 

Adam struggled and Ronan watched as Whelk undid his fly. His blood was boiling but he still didn’t move. He’d seen Adam get out of worse. 

“I’ve been waiting all night for this.” Whelk told him, his hand pausing on Adam’s belt. 

“Whelk, baby, I-” 

Whelk’s hand flew out, slapping Adam across the mouth. “You’ll speak when-”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence. Ronan was in the room, tackling the man to the ground and punching him a few times for good measure. Whelk didn’t struggle, even as Ronan grabbed the zip ties in his pocket and tied him up. He seemed too shocked to retaliate, like he was still trying to piece together what had happened. 

Once Whelk was bound Ronan turned to Adam, who was glaring at him. It took a special person to be tied up and still look that angry at their rescuer but Adam was exactly that type of person. 

“What the fuck Ronan! You could have ruined everything!”

“Excuse me for rescuing you.” He said, grabbing his knife and cutting Adam free.

Adam sat up, rubbing his elbows. “I had it under control.”

“He was going to rape you!” Ronan said, kicking Whelk once for good measure. The man let out a satisfying groan. Ronan resisted the urge to kick him again. 

“I had a plan!” 

Ronan looked back up at Adam, who was glaring daggers at him. Ronan knew that Adam was pissed because he’d barged in, rescued him. Ronan didn’t care. He couldn’t watch that for another minute. 

A minute later Blue and Henry appeared, looking at them then Whelk. Ronan was sure they could feel the tension in the room but they didn’t ask.   
“Help me carry him to the laundry cart.” Blue said. “We’ll wheel him to the truck.”

Ronan nodded, grateful to leave Adam’s stony silence. He felt Adam’s eyes on him the whole time, even as they drove back to base. Adam insisted on driving and Ronan saw how tightly his hands gripped the steering wheel.

Several hours later they were ready to debrief. Ronan had showered, trading his uncomfortable suit for sweat pants and a shirt. He was the last one in the room. Blue was leaning against Gansey, looking half asleep. Adam and Henry were still in their suits, they must have been questioning Whelk. Ronan had offered to help but one glare from Adam told him that he wasn’t welcome.

“We got the information we needed.” Gansey said, nodding at them. “Now we know our next target. Very good work everyone.”

“Nearly everyone.” Adam said, pointedly looking at Ronan. 

Gansey coughed. He’d always hated conflict. “Well, yes. Things went- differently- than we had hoped but we still got what we needed. And that’s what matters.” Gansey nodded to all of them but no one met his eyes. “I think we’ll skip the full debrief this time. Everyone go get some sleep, we leave in the morning.” 

Slowly everyone rose. Blue and Gansey left together, Gansey arm around Blue’s shoulder. Henry was next, giving Ronan a knowing look as he did. Ronan stayed seated. He knew what happened next. He and Adam had to have it out. Adam would yell at him and then things would be better. Ronan was familiar with the moves to this song and dance. 

“Look, Adam-” He started but Adam shook his head.

“Not here. Come up to my room.”

He nodded and followed Adam up the stairs and to the small room. Adam had insisted on taking it, saying he wanted the one furthest from everyone else. Ronan thought it was because he didn’t think he deserved any of the bigger ones. 

For a long moment Adam didn’t speak. Instead he peeled off his suit jacket then tie, letting them fall to the ground. The silence stretched on for long enough that Ronan started to worry. Yelling he could handle, silence was harder. 

“Why did you do it?” There was barely contained anger in Adam’s voice, a cold fury lying right under the surface. “Why the fuck did you do it?” He wasn’t even trying to hide his accent, something that only happened when he was very angry or very drunk. 

Ronan opened his mouth but Adam wasn’t done.

“Did you think I couldn’t do it? Was that it? Think I’m not qualified or too green to get out on my own?” 

Ronan shook his head. Of course that was what Adam would think. That he’d stepped in because he didn’t think Adam was competent. Adam hated anyone implying that he couldn’t handle himself. Ronan had heard the fight Adam and Gansey had had when Gansey refused to let Adam complete a mission. It had been ugly and Adam hadn’t spoke to Gansey for days after. 

“No.” He replied. “That wasn’t it at all.”

“Then what?” Adam yelled. He started walking around that room in tight circles. “Why the hell did you interrupt? I had it under control! You could have jeopardized everything! You could have fucked up months of planning and research because Whelk got a little handsy!” 

“But I didn’t! We still got what we needed.” Ronan replied, his own hackles raising now. He knew what could have happened. Whelk could have had a bodyguard waiting outside, could have been bugged. But in that moment none of that had mattered to Ronan. 

“What if we didn’t? The whole mission could have gone down the drain!” Adam stopped pacing and looked at him. “Just tell me why Ronan.”

Ronan set his jaw, trying to keep the emotion of of his voice. “I wasn’t thinking.” He replied. “I’m an idiot, alright? I fucked up. I know you’re some superhuman who never makes mistakes but the rest of us fuck up sometimes.” 

“But why did you do it?” Adam pressed, not taking the bait. 

Ronan could only shrug. He wasn’t going to lie outright. 

Adam tried a different path. “If it had been Henry or Blue would you have-”

“No.” 

Adam’s eyes flicked to his, the anger returning. “Because you trust them and not me. Because you know they can do their jobs.” His voice was cold again. 

“That’s not it.” Ronan’s hands were clenched into fists. This conversation was veering into dangerous territory. 

“Then what! Why else would you only intervene for me? It has to be because you thought I couldn’t handle it! You think I’m weak and useless. That I can’t be trusted. That’s it isn’t it? Is that why?” 

“It’s because I love you!” Ronan shouted. He couldn’t listen to Adam’s self deprecation, how he put himself down. Ronan hated hearing him say those things, especially when he thought that Adam was the most amazing man he’d ever seen. 

Adam gaped at him so Ronan continued. “It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you or any of that other shit. Jesus Adam, You’re smart and competent and I know that. I know you can handle yourself! But I couldn’t- I couldn’t sit by and watch him touch you like that.” 

Adam’s eyes flashed. “You’re lying.” 

“Jesus fucking-” Ronan rushed in, grabbing Adam’s face with his hands and kissing him. He meant it to be quick, a peck to prove his point, but Adam melted under him, kissing him back almost immediately. It took Ronan several seconds to pull back, forcing himself not to get lost in the kiss.

“I fucking love you Adam Parrish.” Ronan said, crossing his arms so he wouldn’t reach for Adam again. “That’s why I did it.” 

Emotions flashed across Adam’s face. Ronan couldn’t read most of them and he didn’t try with the others. 

“You should go.” Adam finally said. He was looking at the ground, the wall, anywhere but Ronan. And Ronan hated it. He’d run through a lot of scenarios for how Adam would react if he ever found out about Ronan’s feelings- maybe fighting him, yelling at him- but the silence was worse than any of those. 

So he turned and left. He didn’t have anything else to say and Adam clearly didn’t either. 

They left the safehouse the next morning. Adam didn’t talk to him then either. Nor did he over the following days as they followed up on the leads from Whelk. Ronan tried to give Adam space, to give him time to process but he hated this. Normally, during briefings Ronan would lean over and whisper things in Adam’s good ear. Or Adam would give him shit for missing a block when they trained together. The two of them were usually together, Ronan causing trouble and Adam fixing it. This, the distance between them, it was all wrong. 

The others noticed too. Henry gave him a long side eye and a quirked up eyebrow. Gansey had pulled him aside and asked what was wrong- Ronan knew that what he was really asking was what had Ronan done. He’d told Gansey that he would fix it. And he would. Eventually. But Ronan wanted Adam to come to him. He’d caused the man enough grief, it was Adam’s move next. 

Besides, right now Ronan had other problems. Mainly that he was trapped between a rock and a hard place. Or, to be more precise, between a wall of guards and a brick wall. He had been tracking down a lead for the team but had accidentally tripped an alarm and now he was running, trying to look for any escape but there was nothing. Ronan could feel the men gaining on him. He’d never been a runner. Adam or Noah, they could have outrun the men. Ronan? He was better at shooting or hand to hand combat. Unfortunately, he was out of bullets and he knew he’d lose in a fight.

He turned a corner and saw that the road branched in two directions. Ronan hesitated for a second, debating which way to go. He couldn’t see far down either, both were winding roads that could be dead ends. Then he saw someone waving to him. To his relief it was Adam, urging him to follow. Ronan ran to him, silently praying that the men didn’t see which way he went. 

When he was close enough Adam reached out and grabbed him, pulling Ronan flush against his body. 

“What-” Ronan started. His heart had been hammering from running but now it sped up even more, threatening to burst from his chest at the sudden closeness. 

“Shut up.” Adam hissed, looking behind him. Then, without warning, Adam flipped them, pushing Ronan against the wall and covering Ronan’s body with his own. Ronan let out a small exhale as his back hit the wall. He’d gone through a window earlier, trying to escape, and he was sure he was bleeding. What happened next made him forget about the pain. 

Adam pulled back just far enough to look at him. “I’ve got to kiss you Ronan.” 

Then Adam’s mouth was on his, stealing his breath. He didn’t question it, returning the kiss with the same fierceness and need that Adam was giving him. Adam’s hands cradled Ronan’s jaw as he deepened the kiss. Behind them, Ronan heard movement but he didn’t look, deciding that if he was going to die this was exactly how he wanted to go. Adam’s lips were persistent against his, asking a question that Ronan didn’t know the answer to but he was more than happy to try. 

They stayed that way for a while, Adam was gently cupping his jaw as their tongues moving against each other. Adam pressed against Ronan, a leg slipping between his thighs and making Ronan gasp and arch into the touch. He couldn’t get enough of this, of Adam surrounding him, how he tasted and the sounds he made. The threat had surely passed but Adam didn’t show any signs of breaking the kiss. 

He had no idea how much time went by but eventually Blue’s voice barked in his ear. “Hey Lynch, you dead yet?”

That broke him out of his reverie. Ronan pulled back, breathing heavily. Confusion flashed over Adam’s face. 

“I’m alive Sargent. And I’ve got the intel.” Ronan replied, stepping out from Adam’s grasp. It wasn’t easy but he reminded himself it didn’t mean the same to Adam, it was only a technique to hide them. 

Blue whooped in his ear. “Then get the fuck back here and let’s celebrate!” 

“Ten four you tiny minion.”

Blue swore at him but he ignored it, instead walking to where the car was supposed to be waiting for them. Adam followed. Neither spoke. 

When they got back Blue pulled him into a tight hug and Ronan had hissed. With everything else that happened he’d forgotten about his window injuries. Adam had already disappeared, mumbling something about needing fresh air. 

“I’ll be back, don’t get too drunk without me.” Ronan said, knowing he needed to clean and bandage his cuts now. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey on his way out, deciding to start the party on his own. 

Back in his room he stripped off his shirt and surveyed the damage. Most of the cuts would be easy to clean, ones he could reach without any problem but there were a few deep ones, ones that he had to twist to reach. 

“Motherfucker.” He hissed as he ripped a bandage trying to clean one on his lower back. He’d already been at it for twenty minutes but these last few cuts were proving impossible to reach. 

“Want some help?” 

Ronan’s head shot up. Adam was standing in his doorway, watching him. 

“Only if you promise not to do more damage.” Ronan said, watching him warily. 

Adam stepped in the room and took the rag from Ronan’s hands, adding more disinfectant before sitting down behind him.

“You never make things easy. There was a door right next to you. You didn’t have to go through the window.” Adam said, starting to clean one of the cuts. He always memorized the layouts of buildings, memorizing exits and danger zones. He said that he liked to know his options, how to escape. Ronan had a feeling that there had been a time when Adam couldn’t escape and he’d vowed to never have that again. 

“And there was a bodyguard behind it.” Ronan replied. “I choose the window. At least it wouldn’t fight back.”

“Your back says otherwise.” He could feel Adam’s fingers on him, spreading salve over the cut before gently down pressing a bandage.

“Did you come here to tell me I was being an idiot?” That was probably the best case scenario. That Adam had gotten over Ronan’s confession and wanted to yell at him again. He could have handled that. 

“Maybe. You are.” Adam said. There was an edge in his voice. “You’re reckless. You take chances you shouldn’t. You- you’re always throwing yourself into harm’s way without thinking.” 

Ronan hissed as Adam pressed against his wound. “So? Why do you care?” 

“Because-” Adam turned Ronan so they were facing each other. Adam’s jaw worked and Ronan was surprised how fierce he looked. “Your actions affect other people. They affect the team.” 

He closed his eyes and stood. Ronan had enough guilt without Adam piling more on. He walked to the other side of the room before turning to look at Adam again. 

“Why are you here?” He asked. “Is it just to lecture me about stupid risks? Because I already fucking know about that. If you’re here to yell at me about the other night just do it, get over with so things can go back to normal.” Ronan was tired of avoiding this. He wanted to get it over with. Wanted to have this fight so they could move on, so he could lick his wounds. 

Adam stood, still looking furious. He walked over to Ronan, stopping right in front of him but not speaking. His hands were balled into fists but Ronan knew that Adam would never hurt him, at least not intentionally. 

“Well?” Ronan demanded. “What do you want Adam? Because I made it damn clear what I wanted and you-”

He didn’t get to finish. Adam had decided to respond by grabbing Ronan and kissing him. Ronan could feel the annoyance behind it, the anger and frustration. Adam’s hand wound around Ronan’s head, pushing him against the wall and covering him like he had that afternoon. Ronan wanted to melt into it again, wanted to give into Adam’s lips and hands. 

But he couldn’t. His mind wouldn’t stop asking what the hell this was. Ronan broke the kiss, shaking his head. “ What are you doing? Are you drunk?” 

“I’m not drunk.” Adam said, stepping back. He looked wild and hurt and Ronan knew he was getting ready to run. “I thought you wanted this!” 

Ronan clenched then released his jaw. “I do. I want you so fucking much but only if you want me too. I need to know that this isn’t guilt or anger or any other bullshit. It needs to be you wanting this as much as I do. I want everything or nothing.” 

Ronan knew it was selfish to expect Adam to feel the same way he did but he didn’t do things half assed. He needed to know Adam was in this like he was. Otherwise it would never work. It probably still wouldn’t but Ronan needed to know that he’d tried. 

“Fine.” 

Ronan coughed a laugh. “Fine? I lay my fucking heart out and I get a ‘fine’?” 

Adam nodded tensely. “I tried to kiss you and you didn’t like that.” 

“Oh I did. A lot.” Ronan cocked his head, looking at Adam. For the first time in days Adam gave him a whisper of a smile. Ronan refused to let himself get lost in it. He tried to focus. “What do you mean, fine?” 

Adam took a tentative step closer. “I thought about what you said. A lot. A fucking lot. I thought about you and me and how much you piss me off, how much you care about me and I realized-” Adam sucked in a breath. “I care too. I care a lot. I don’t know when it happened but I do. I haven’t stopped thinking about you Ronan and it’s getting fucking exhausting.” 

Ronan sucked in a breath and measured his next words. “If something goes wrong- if this doesn’t work out-” He didn’t need to say the rest. One of them would have to leave the team. There wasn’t another option. 

“I know.” Adam took another step closer, closing the distance between them. “I know what this means.”

“Good because I’m not listening to Blue crow-” 

Adam chuckled and learned. “Can we not talk about Blue right now?” He tilted his head, pausing just short of Ronan’s lips. “I want to kiss you again, is that okay?” 

Ronan knew there was more to say. He wanted to know how they’d do this, how they could still work together. Adam needed to know that he would still be stubborn and jealous, that he’d still act before thinking. 

None of that seemed important though. Not right now. Ronan smiled and nodded. “Fuck yes.” 

Adam’s lips were on his before he’d finished speaking and Ronan decided that everything else could wait. 

**Author's Note:**

> I started this baby before the title drop but now I want a whole series of them as spies/secret agents. So probably expect more of these :P


End file.
